Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Home of The Plopper

I am a world class plopper. For those who are unfamiliar with the term "plop" as it applies to feline activities, allow me to explain:

Plopping is something all cats do to some degree. It comes as naturally to us as purring or spider thumping. Plopping is basically defined as the act of suddenly appearing to lose all feeling in ones legs and thereby dropping to the floor in a boneless furry heap. There is no particular reason for us to do this, it simply amuses us.

There are several different styles of plopping. Ivan prefers the "Stop, Drop and Roll" method. This method is especially effective if used as a way to trip two leggers who happen to be walking in a darkened hallway. The purpose of the "roll" maneuver is that by rolling immediately to his back after the plop, Ivan instantly transforms from a soft pudgy cat into a totally immovable obstacle. He definitely gets credit for causing havoc, but loses points for style.

Tiger Lily often employs the "This Little Kitty Went wah wah wah All The Way Home" plop. This not truly a plop, it's more like her sitting on the floor whining, but I felt I should mention it.

My favorite plop is one I like to call the "Holey Sheet" technique. This is best done on the two leggers bed while they are watching the news. I perform this by jumping on the bed and in one motion, slamming myself forcefully onto my side with a half twist. By performing the half twist, this instantly displays my deadly claws while simultaneously snagging a thread or two of the two leggers new comforter. It causes damage while still maintaining my sense of style.

To all my fellow felines, I recommend experimenting until you find a plop that suits your lifestyle.

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