Sunday, January 16, 2011

Ode to Tiger Lily

I beg to describe her,
She's a large grayish tabby.
She is never joyful.
She's always very crabby.

She's partial to other females,
She never likes us boys.
She'd rather fuss at us.
When we're playing with our toys.

She looks down her nose at us,
In two legger terms she's conceited.
Swing one paw at her,
And you'll find that she's retreated.

She lays all day,
Basking in the sun.
Just a boring lump of fur,
Disdaining any fun.

She does very little,
She'll never chase a mouse.
I've yet to figure out,
Her purpose in my house.

But in one area,
She hasn't any peers.
She makes a sound so annoying,
You'll wish you had no ears.

Yes, she is a master
When it comes to whining.
It annoys all who hear it,
It requires no refining.

She whines in the morning,
She whines all through the day.
She whines so much,
It keeps the mice away.

I've tried to speak to her,
Alas with no success.
I've tried very hard to accept her,
But I fail, I must confess.

So it is not my fault,
If my paw acts of its' own volition.
You'd do the same,
Were you in my position.

You'd smack her too,
I've no doubt you would.
You'd smack her just to shut her up.
You'd smack her because it felt good.

So please don't try to judge me,
I'm not the only one.
Everyone wants to smack her,
Plus it's just so damned fun.


  1. Sometimes it happens on one's life that you hear or read something and you think 'wow, that just sums up how I feel'. You are a great wise master, in fact I think I have to name you Guru Cujo.
    Your poem completely sums up my attitude towards girlcats too. The line 'Plus it's just so damned fun' is inspired as it totally captures the essence of how I feel towards girlcats. How can something so enjoyable as biffing them when they aren't looking be wrong ? Well, except in the case of my delightful gorgeous girlfriend Maggie May, and if anyone tried to smack her then I'd be forced to tear their paws off.

    Reading your blog is like a spiritual experience my friend. All hail.

  2. A love poem if we've ever read one.

    Which we haven't.

  3. Mr. Cujo, we had to come over here after our friend, King Punapippuri, mentioned your poem on his blog. You see, we've been trying to convince him that girlcats rule, but we're not having any success. What I, Fuzzy, want to tell you, though, is that I could have written that exact same poem about my BROTHER! He meowed nonstop and was a bully. One time when he was screaming for no reason, I walked up to him and punched him in the head. My mom laughed for a very long time. But he shut up!

    But, we'll give you a B+ for your effort. It was a great poem, we just didn't agree with your subject. :)

    Your new friends, Fuzzy and Zoe