Friday, September 3, 2010

Litter Box Etiquette

I am often asked: "What is proper etiquette when it comes to usage of the royal litter?" OK, no one has actually ever asked me that, but it would be cool if they did, because I have many thoughts on this subject.

First of all, the litter box is the one place in my house that is both useful and fun at the same time. You can use it to mess with the two leggers as well as the other four leggers in your household.

My litter boxes (I have two) are of the type that have both covers and little door thingies. They provide privacy and room when I need a little "me" time. That being said, they also provide great opportunity for ambush. I truly enjoy waiting until Tiger Lily has just about finished her business and is considering the best method of fecal concealment, then while she is most distracted, I smack the little door thingy causing her to produce more fecal matter that will need concealing. This is truly amusing

Ivan is a master of the "Poop, Poof and Bolt". He waits by the litter box that is situated next to the computer thingy until the female two legger is engrossed in her Farmville stuff, then he enters the litter box, lays down something that is so unholy that it causes him to "poof", and then bolts from the room leaving the excrement uncovered for the enjoyment of the two legger. Sometimes the two legger appreciates this so much that it brings tears to her eyes.

My personal favorite though is the "Clean Box Fake Out". We do this whenever the two leggers are expecting guests. I know when they are expecting other two leggers because the female uses the hoover sucky thingy while the male does an incredibly thorough cleaning of both boxes. Ivan and I will wait patiently until the cleaning is done and then take turns entering the boxes where we wait for a few moments and then scratch until we have the two leggers attention. This causes him to grab the scoop and search fruitlessly. Even Tiger Lily is amused.

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