Monday, September 20, 2010

"Family Time"

My two leggers have now mandated a new type of Hell. They call it "family time". Ever since their offspring escaped, the two leggers have now unleashed their unpasteurized affection upon myself and my four legged minions. Adoration, admiration and worshipful awe are welcomed and of course, expected, but affection is unacceptable.

Affection is an emotion that implies the expectation of the return of the same emotion. Silly two leggers. When will they learn?

Anyway, I digress. Family time occurs every evening at ten o'clock sharp. The two leggers retire to their bed in order to watch the talking box thingy and expect us feline types to join them. They even go so far as to pick us up and lock us in the bedroom. As if we don't have better things to do. There are dust bunnies to harvest and "knock-knacks" (not a typo) to "rearrange". These are things that are difficult to accomplish while the two leggers are up and about.

We have learned to accept this daily purgatory, though we refuse to like it.

Tiger Lily curls up on the pillow behind the female's head, usually with her tail tickling her ear. This amuses her. Ivan sprawls with his ample weight equally distributed across both the two leggers raising their body temperature by an average of 115 degrees Farenheit. I meanwhile, am not so predictable. Sometimes I curl up and pretend to nap on the end of the bed, but not often. I prefer activities that cause more mayhem.

For instance, I have found that by sitting on top of the talking box thingy and giving the two leggers my patented "owl-face" glare, I can irritate them to the point that they end up letting me out. It also amuses to me walk along the bedstands enforcing the law of gravity on anything that may be pushed off.

But what amuses me the most is sneaking along the side of the bed, waiting until I am precisely even with Tiger Lily's position, and then leaping upon her with out warning. This invariably causes a chain reaction of chaos. Startling Tiger Lily causes her to poof, jump and declare her displeasure in an incredibly loud whine (not always in that order). This startles both two leggers which in turn causes Ivan to poof and fly off the bed and run into the nearest wall. Pictures have been known to be knocked down by Ivan's impact with the wall. This never fails to make the two leggers so frustrated that me and my cohorts are declared unfit for family time and banished from the bedroom.

Mission accomplished.

1 comment: