Thursday, December 9, 2010

A Christmas Tail

This is a little poem I wrote about what happened last Christmas.

Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through my house,
Came the thump, thump, thumping,
Of Ivan punching a mouse.

The two leggers were sleeping,
All snug in their beds.
Oblivious to the world,
They had taken their meds.

I lay on my throne,
And started to snooze.
I dreamed of smacking squirrels,
And barfing in shoes.

Suddenly something woke me,
A noise on the roof.
Yanking me from slumber
Causing me to poof.

Standing by the firebox,
What did I behold?
A big fat two legger,
Who looked rather old.

He was big, fat and bearded.
He was dressed all in red.
I ordered Mr. Ivan,
To bring me his head.

But, Ivan refused.
He wouldn't even budge.
Because Ivan suspected,
This guy carried fudge.

Ivan begged me to chill,
As I reached for a stick,
"This bozo is none other,
Than good ole St. Nick."

Ivan's determination,
Caused me to pause.
Could this obese vagrant,
Be Santa Claus?

He gives people presents,
He is a merry soul.
But all he ever brings for me,
Is a big old lump of coal.

And so I swore, then and there,
By my jingle balls.
Next time I see him,
I'm giving Santa claws.


  1. Bravo! Well done!

    The mom especially laughed at the "They had taken their meds" line! :-D

  2. I hope this year Santa will bring you lots of toys and treats. But keep that stick, just in case.

  3. HAHAHA!!!! Mommy is laughing so very hard! This is the best poem ever!