Sunday, March 2, 2014

Computer Conundrum

As many of you are aware, my computer typey thingy bit the proverbial dust last week.

I was not amused.

I commanded the male two legger to repair the machine immediately.

I was unsure if he was up to the task. As far as I know, he hasn't mastered any computer thingy since learning Abacus 2.0, however, I was willing to give him a chance.

After several hours of unfruitful head-scratching, mumbling, cursing, a couple of exclamations of "EUREKA!" followed by more head-scratching and cursing, he informed me that we would soon be visited by something called "The Greek Squad".

I must admit to being somewhat excited at this prospect. Being a student of history, I have always been fascinated by the society that brought us Plato, Socrates and a pledge to honor pictures of African animals called "The Hippo-graphic Oath". And so the next day I eagerly awaited the arrival of the Greeks in all their bed sheet clad splendor. Perhaps while they repaired my computer typey thingy, I would share my own philosophical thoughts and thus add to their already legendary legacy.

So imagine my surprise when instead of a chariot being pulled by great white stallions, a little bitty SmartCar thingy pulled into my driveway. No gray-bearded, toga-clad two leggers climbed out of yon micromobile. Instead, two semi-adolescent male two leggers knocked upon my door wearing white shirts, black ties, and black trousers that if they had been six inches longer, would have still been eight inches too short. They had fastened to their shirts name tags that identified them as Rory and Jeremy. Beneath their names, was the title "GeekSquad Technician".

I now understood that my two legger had obviously been misinformed and had called in the wrong team to repair my computer. However, he seemed to not notice his mistake and spoke to them as though they were the people he expected. As he was greeting them, Ivan, Tiger Lily and Jaq had entered the room to observe. "Rory" immediately asked to see the naughty laptop. Laughing hysterically, my two legger turned and pointed to each of us and asked "Which naughty laptop do you wish to see?". (His wit is only surpassed by his ability to teleport)

Rory who seemed to be one of the other 99.9996% of humanity who do not understand my two legger's sense of humor, stared at him blankly. Somewhat deflated, my two legger handed over my laptop, and the two pushed their eyeglasses further up their noses, hiked up their britches and began assessing the issue.

For the next 45 minutes, they performed a procedure that is apparently taught at only the best computer repair schools. It is called the "Turn The Darned Thing Off and Then Turn It Back On Again Maneuver".

Approximately 90 minutes later, they reached the mind-boggling conclusion that my computer was indeed "non-functional". This came as a great surprise to me given the fact that I had been completely unable to make it "function" for the last three days. They declared that they needed to take it back to their nerd nest and attempt to repair it there.

Five days later, they returned my computer after having claimed victory and stated that the computer typey thingy is now "good as new". I must admit that they did not lie. My computer typey thingy is indeed as good as the day it was bought. They were even kind enough to wipe off all those pesky documents and pictures that I have written and collected over the last two years.

That being said, I am back online now. I appreciate your patience and understanding during this trying time.

Fortunately, the internet thingy managed to continue on even though there was one less cat last week.


  1. Well, I am glad you are back online, Cujo... they didn't do anything about, um, backing up that data, did they?

    1. They said they did, but I see no evidence of it. I suppose I will have to smack them.

  2. I am happy to report ComMonster Cujo Sir that I am NOT among the 99.9996% of the human population that do not 'get' your 2 legger's sense of humor.
    That being said, I am happy to see you back! All Hail Cujo!! Ruler of the Universe, both known and unknown!!

    1. Thank you Glenna! As far as his sense of humor, please do not encourage him ;)

  3. So glad those geeks got your computer up and running again.

    They had geek written right on their shirts? REALLY? Wow. Who would ever have thought. I know I wouldn't. Oh well... Personally, I'd rather have "smarty-pants cat" written on MY shirt. That is, if I wore a shirt.


  4. Cujo - whispers - my Mommy is a Geek - but she is old and fluffy....
    Mes had no idea that there is a whole sqaud of them andthat they comes to houses!!!

    1. I had no idea either. Oh well, I guess it makes them easier to spot :)

  5. I think your Geeks in Chariots would have fixed it in no time...or at least it would have been more fun to watch!

    Smacking them seems fair for the loss of your photos and documents!

  6. Welcome back Mister Cujo, the internet is better for having you back on it.

  7. You forgot the baclava! Nom…nom…nom! Mom wishes her stupid service provider had a Geek Squad. Glad you're 100 percent again. Have a great week. Purrs and paw-pats, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo