Friday, April 13, 2012

Lack of Common Scents

 This is the post that I wrote as a guest blogger on The World's Best Cat Litter website.  I was honored to be invited to write for them and their excellent product. Their website is:

My loyal followers and minions are all aware of the fact that my two leggers are loyal users of The World's Best Cat Litter (place trademark thingy here) But what they may not be aware of is how they came to discover this incredible product.

 When I first came to claim my kingdom, Ivan The Tolerable was the only other feline in residence. For those of you unfamiliar with Ivan, he is a large dimwitted orange tabby that holds the distinction of being my Royal Stinkmeister . His stinkies are truly the stuff of legend. He actually has an international fanclub comprised entirely of skunks, pigs and sewage workers.

With the addition of myself to the household, the two leggers realized that a single litter box filled with bargain cat litter was not the answer to their olfactory dreams. They needed to find something that would hide the fact that there were now two felines residing in the same small house. Plus there were extenuating circumstances. Not only is my house rather small, it is also located in the Pacific Northwest where it rains 542 days per year on average. This results in having very few days that encourage the opening of windows. Therefore, the need for effective cat litter is paramount.

They began experimenting with different brands and formulations of cat litter. They first switched to the scoopable type. This made cleaning easier, but the large clumps of ammonia soaked clay smelled just like large clumps of ammonia soaked clay.

They then tried a litter that claimed to hide the worst odors. Ivan laughed in derision and proved their claims totally unfounded.

Next came the scented litter. It was advertised as smelling like a "fresh bouquet of flowers on a Springtime morning". It worked perfectly if one enjoys the smell of a urine soaked bouquet of flowers.

Finally, a friend of my two leggers (despite popular theory, they do have friends) suggested The World's Best Cat Litter (place trademark thingy here).

The effect was dramatic. It worked so well that it immediately threw Ivan into a fit of depression and self doubt. Ivan takes great pride in his stinkies and suddenly felt that he was losing his touch. I assured him that he was indeed losing his touch and encouraged him to work harder.

Three months later, reinforcements arrived in the form of a whiny, gray, female tabby named Tiger Lily. Believing this gave us the upper paw, Ivan immediately cheered up and renewed his aromatic mission. But alas, the two leggers were onto us and countered by adding a third litter box and switching to the "Multi-cat Formula" of The World's Best Cat Litter.(place trademark thingy here) The "Multi-cat Formula" was so effective at odor removal I actually began to fear that Ivan might simply be absorbed leaving nothing but a few tufts of odorless orange fur.

I must admit, the two leggers may have won this battle, but we are not giving up. We fully intend to win The War of The Noses.

 Ivan is currently experimenting with his diet in order to improve his stinkage.

Anyone know of a catfood company offering "Tex-Mex"?


  1. Brilliant, Cujo!! Now I just wanna know how a year has 542+ days? Confuzzled on that one :D

  2. Hm. We use the same brand and ours still stink pretty bad! I can only imagine what it would be like if there was a different brand litter here.