Saturday, January 7, 2012

Shouting From The Litterbox

Once again, I am annoyed.

No, strike that, I am beyond annoyed. I am mad, ticked, miffed, angry, upset, irritated, irate and furthermore disturbed.

I have my hairballs in a bunch. My smacking paw is quivering to beat the band and my tail is twitching so hard that it may put someone's eye out.

Even Ivan is cowering from my wrath. Tiger Lily has just booked a ticket thingy to Afghanistan because it may be safer than staying here while I vent my annoyance. Jaq is on the female two legger's lap until Hurricane Cujo passes.

You may ask, "What could have our Dear Leader in such a tizzy?". Allow me to elucidate:

As you all are aware, my puter thingy crashed last week. It took a dirt nap. It has passed away. It contracted a terminal case of buggerall and committed Hari Kiri. It has entered unto the promised land of all things that are composed primarily of plastic, wire and magic. It is no more. It is an ex-laptop. It has become a high tech paperweight. Just like a cat after it's "eight month checkup" at the vet, you can turn it on, but nothing else happens.

This is an obstacle, but obstacles are made to be overcome. What really annoyed me was what happened today.

I bade my male two legger to order me a new computer machine thingy last Monday. He of course, obeyed. He then informed me that my new blogging apparatus would arrive this coming Monday. Today, I commanded that he check the order status so that I could then confirm to my minions that their Master would be back on the interwebs Monday evening. Imagine my dismay when he discovered that his order had somehow been canceled with no notice whatsoever. No email, no phone call, not even a carrier pigeon. (which would have been delicious given that they are currently in season.)

So I ordered him to call their customer service department to investigate this travesty.

He was given such a run around and after a half hour on the phone thingy was informed that no one could help him until Monday and he should call back. This caused him to rip out what little hair he has left and then grab a beer and watch football.

I have informed him that he will cease all communication with this company, close all accounts with them and go out tomorrow to a store that sells computer thingies and not return until he has bought me a new one.

As for the company that I am so annoyed with, I will not name them due to my one phobia. I suffer from briefcasecarryinghotairblowingalwayswantingtosueeveryoneaphobia.

So suffice it to say that their name I cannot..... TELL
Though they put me through........HELL
I hope their products do not......SELL
Their customer service is.......PELL MELL.
For their promises I .......FELL.
I would love to ring their........BELL.

And I will throw their product down the nearest.......WELL.


  1. Oh Dear, Your Royalness!! Such Insolence MUST be Punished!!! All minions to the Yard Arm...Ahoy, we sail into battle!

  2. Oh man I wanna know who so I don't buy anything from them...

  3. A apple a day keeps the doctor away !!!

  4. Cujo! What a wonderful post! It is nice to read the rant of someone who can get as angry as me!
    Me hopes yous gets a new computer Toot Sweet!

  5. Oh, no! What a rotten thing to do to any customer. We'd sure like to avoid that company. Not even a hint?

  6. WELL, WELL, we guess we'll just have to go back into our SHELL, unless we can get you to YELL out the name.