Ivan is embarrassed. However, he made me promise not to tell anyone of his embarrassment. Like who would I tell? But, I am a creature of my word, and so I fully intend on not telling anyone.
So, Ivan was relaxing by the sliding door this morning when suddenly a new critter appeared in the backyard. And not just one new critter, but several critters of the same type. These animals were small in stature, (only half a tailspan in length) tailless, short brown mangy fur with black and white stripes going down it's scrawny little back. I recognized them as being chipmunks from having observed them on the talking box thingy. (the male two legger watches the Disney Channel when he thinks everyone is sleeping)
I think they were attracted to my backyard by the birdseed the female two legger put out there during the recent snow storm. She was worried that all the bird thingies may go hungry and so in a fit of misguided concern, made the male go out in the cold and place food under all the trees. Her priorities did not amuse me because it was clearly obvious that my food bowl was only seven-eighths full and therefore in dire need of refilling, but instead she made him take care of the bird thingies first. ( I'm working on a hairball that has her name on it)
Back to the chipmunks. Upon spotting the offending rodentia, Ivan went into a furs-a-flyin frenzy. He was under the mistaken assumption that the chipmunks were in fact embryonic squirrel thingies. Being his best friend, I immediately told him of his mistake. But alas, I have to be true to myself and therefore could not let him off so easily. So I told him that they were actually a mutant form of ninja squirrel thingy and that invasion was imminent. I embellished the tale with a story about them having pictures of an orange tabby in the tiny pouches where they keep their "hit list".
Ivan then attempted to squeeze his not inconsiderable bulk under the entertainment center. It looked like half an orange watermelon. Most amusing.
After about an hour of watching Ivan try to find a suitable hidey hole, I decided to let him off the hook. Ivan was not amused. In fact, I believe I have never seen him so angry. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was plotting murder.
Good thing I told him it was Tiger Lily's idea.