Here Comes Santa Claus (Everyone Look Busy)

Some of my minions, (You know who you are) have been requesting that I venture into poetry once again. Okay, you asked for it, do not blame me for the results.

Twas the week before Christmas,
Not a sound to be heard.
'Cept Ivan in the window,
Being teased by a bird.

The tree thingy was decorated,
By the two leggers with great care.
In the misguided belief,
That the ornaments I'd spare.

Tiger Lily and Jaq,
Lay asleep on their beds,
I consider waking them,
And smacking their heads.

But for now I leave them snoozing,
I've bigger fish to fry.
That big jolly two legger,
I've decided must die.

He annoys me every year,
Spreading his message of joy.
Rewarding "good" behavior,
With the treat of a toy

He seems to dislike me,
Down deep in his soul.
All he ever brings me,
Is a large lump of coal.

But what Santa doesn't realize,
What soon will be known,
These large, black rocks he sends me,
Are easily thrown.

So come next Saturday,
Me and Ivan will wait.
As the big fat two legger
Approaches his fate.

We will hide in the tree thingy,
Not making a peep.
Then jump out and ambush
The white bearded creep.


I hope this week he sleeps well,
His rest unencumbered.
Without the least suspicion,
His days on Earth are numbered.

While the two leggers slumber,
All snug in their bed,
Ivan and I will be bouncing coal
Off Santa's large head.

Come Christmas morning,
Instead of decking the halls,
I'll be on my throne,
Picking Santa out of my claws.