Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Feather Fight

Today, I once again awoke to find Bob in my backyard. For those of you who do not remember Bob please see:

Lately, Bob has been spending an inordinate amount of time in my yard eating the food that the two leggers leave out for the deer and bird thingies.

This annoys me. So I decided that something must be done about it. I haven't a clue what should be done, but I am pondering it.

But that is not the reason I am posting tonight, well not the whole reason. The main reason I am posting tonight only indirectly involves Bob.

You see, while Bob was in my backyard, I gave him such a tongue lashing that I scared him right out of his feathers. Okay, perhaps I may have assumed that it was my superior tongue lashing that caused his molting, but the possibility remains that he felt the severe hostility radiating in his general direction and decided he needed to lighten his load in order to affect a speedy retreat.

Well, perhaps his speedy retreat was in all actuality a leisurely stroll across my yard. But still, that leisurely stroll (and mid-stroll nap upon my deck) was definitely hastened by my glare.

Anyway, when the two leggers returned home this evening, they spent several moments in my yard gathering the feathers that I had scared off of Bob.

By rights, these feathers belonged to me. Me, me and

The first thing the female did was to place them in a vase and arrange them like a cat toy bouquet. The next thing she did was turn to me and say: "Cujo, NO!".

Allow me to translate:
 "Please Cujo, won't you partake of this feast of feather thingies? Oh sure, I will talk big for form's sake and perhaps chastise you when I spot you stalking them, but I assure you Your Highness, my only wish is for you to completely destroy the feather thingies at your earliest convenience. My only request is that you do not attempt to do this while I watch because it is my fervent wish to be surprised by your incredible skills of destruction."

I must admit, her acting skills are better than I first gave her credit for. So in respect of her offering, I will grant her request and wait until she sleeps.

At some point tonight, I swear by all that is me, Bob's feathers will go to that great mattress in the sky.

In the meantime, I will lay here and anticipate her screams of joy when she awakens and beholds my latest creation.


  1. Are you telling us Bob is nekkid?

  2. Not quite yet, but there is still hope.

  3. OMC - make sure you get pictures - we are sure there will be some artistic flare to your work!!