Monday, May 2, 2011

The Devil in The De-Tails

Once again, my house has been invaded.

This time it has been invaded by another two legger.

She is one of the offspring of the resident two leggers.

She is the youngest female of the brood.

She showers me with gifts and adoration.

She is called The Stephanie.

I find The Stephanie interesting. Though she is a two legger, she is also a four wheeler. It would seem that she has decided that walking is too "pedestrian" for her. So she sits upon her wheely thingy and moves through my house at twice the speed of Ivan. (approximately .75 mph)

The wheely thingy runs over or plows through every obstacle it encounters. This is worthy of my respect. That being said, it also happens to be the arch enemy of long tailed felines everywhere. The wheely thingy lies in wait until it spots an unattended tail, and then it strikes. Rolling out of nowhere, it attempts to run over said tail causing the owner of the aforementioned tail to howl in pain and bewilderment. Generally, this triggers a mass feline exodus from the room and much chaos ensues.

You would think that such a potential for damage and havoc would please and amuse me.

In this case, you would be wrong.

If you recall, I mentioned that the wheely thingy feeds on LONG cat tails. Given the fact that I have the longest tail in my kingdom, I am its' favorite prey. Ivan has nothing to worry about. His tail is even shorter than his longest train of thought. Tiger Lily is safe because I smacked her tail clean off several weeks ago.

So that leaves me. I refuse to be defeated. I have a plan.

Every night, The Stephanie leaves the wheely thingy in the living room. It appears to go dormant whenever she leaves it alone. So tonight while it sleeps, Ivan and I plan to give it a smacking it will never forget.

When it wakes in the morning, bruised, battered and covered in semi digested hairballs, it will know........

You don't mess with The Paw.


  1. Get it Cujo, get it good! Make it sorry it ever messed with you.

  2. Wheely Thingy going DOWN tonight! HAIRBALL massacre to be videoed? Dana aka Sophie kitteh

  3. Brilliant Cujo!! The Stephanie Is honored I am sure *Wink*