Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day Ponderings

As you are all aware, today is the one day of the year that all two legged offspring honor their female parent. They call it "Mother's Day".

Now, in my house, all the spawn of my two leggers have either been taken to the shelter, or adopted by other felines. Other than for occasional visits, they are seldom seen in my kingdom. Therefore, I have little experience in what may or may not constitute a good "mother".

And so I find myself pondering this question.

Since I adopted the Dunn's when I was only twelve weeks old, I have few memories of my own mother, but those few are quite vivid.

Basically, she was a lunatic.

Not the "cute and funny, sitting in the corner talking to shadows, listening to the voices tell her that the key to world peace relies on her bread tie collection" sort of lunatic.

I'm talking the "scary, makes you sleep with one eye open, hide the sharp utensils, never make eye contact, psycho-nut" variety of lunatic.

I recall one instance when, after my siblings and I had just finished nursing, she suddenly jumped up and announced that she had replaced her milk with goat milk and that we would all have horns by morning. She then proceeded to rub her butt on the carpet while laughing maniacally.

Another time, she informed us that we had been harvested too young and attempted to "re-plant" us in the litterbox thingy.

Every time she saw her own reflection in a mirror, she would spontaneously start quoting lines from "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang".

It is my firm belief that she did a LOT of catnip in her younger days.

Back to the present day.

After pondering "mothers", I have reached the conclusion that my female two legger must be a pretty good one.

She has raised her young in a loving environment. (not really my thing, but to each their own) While giving sound advice and guidance, she has always let them choose their own paths and make their own mistakes. She has always celebrated their successes, while never belaboring their failures.

I consider these actions to be the hallmark of good "mothering". This also explains why her offspring hold her in such high regard.

Just a final note. My male two legger is afraid that some of my followers may infer that when I spoke of my own mother, I may have also been casting aspersions upon his mother.

I assure you that this may or may not be true.


  1. Oh no Cujo we know who you are talking about - your 2 - leggers are nothing like you.... Now I understand why you are the way you are!!! Explains a lot about how your upbringing was -- you certainly have a right to be who you are! You really do have some GOOD parts !!!!!

  2. What's lunatic about a bread tie collection?
    Perfectly normal in OUR house.

  3. Cujo, my spawns think I'm crazy, too, and I swear I never did catnip.

  4. Sounds completely normal to me! Here, kitty, come a little closer and tell me more...