Thursday, February 24, 2011

Return of The BWFTs

Once again, my yard has gone AWOL.

For the last two days BWFTs have been falling.

For an explanation of BWFTs, please refer to an earlier post: Snow Wonder

This time the BWFTs are much larger and numerous than before. They completely cover my yard and all the various thingies therein.

I am unsure whether to be amused or annoyed.

I am somewhat amused because I imagine that the squirrel thingy is suffering terribly. Freezing his little acorns off, his mangy tail caked with ice and slush. I know that at the very least, he is very uncomfortable and irritated with Mother Nature. I keep hoping that the two leggers will pity him and allow him to come inside. This will allow me to "educate" him on his place in the local food chain. I have tried to convince them that I would not harm the little pest......uhm, I mean cutie, but I'm afraid they have serious misgivings about my intentions. Their mistrust annoys me.

The BWFTs also annoy because they have revealed another type of pestilence infecting my yard. Last night, I noticed several lights emanating from beneath the snow.

My female two legger informed me that these were "gnome houses". I have heard of these gnome thingies, but had never imagined that they lived in houses or that they would have the temerity to build a development in my yard.

From what I have gathered, gnomes are miniature two leggers with pointed heads and annoying voices with British accents. This is unacceptable. I do not wish to see them in my yard. They require immediate eviction.

I am unsure what they feed on, but they if they are expecting to freeload on my property, they are sadly mistaken. The two leggers seem unfazed by them, but Ivan and I are most annoyed. As soon as I spot one, I intend to give him a tongue lashing he won't soon forget.

And so I turn to my loyal followers. If anyone out there has any experience in dealing with or eradicating gnome thingies, please let me know.

Unless they eat squirrels.


  1. You have gnomes? We aren't any help, but we don't think we want those things here...