Sunday, September 4, 2011

Fly Ball

.The day started out calm, tranquil and uneventful.

I don't do calm, tranquil and uneventful. It bothers me.

I was sitting in my bay window, looking out upon my kingdom. The two leggers had yet to rise. Ivan was glaring at the bottom of his food bowl. Tiger Lily was skulking somewhere, desperately attempting to avoid my boredom. It was a typical late Summer morning.

As I sat there considering whether to take a nap or perhaps spend some time in deep meditation, (There is a difference, but scientists have yet to define it) a fly thingy buzzed into the upper regions of my smackmosphere. For those of my followers who are unfamiliar with the term "smackmosphere", it is a region of space surrounding all felines that extends 360 degrees in all directions from the paws to whatever distance the aforementioned feline can swat or smack in one instantaneous motion and kill, maim or stun whatever may have entered this zone.

In the blink of an eye, the fly thingy was pinned to the floor. Killing it outright would have been too quick and would have left me bored once again. I decided to enslave the fly thingy for future amusement. However, while I sat pondering the best method of restraining the victim, Ivan wandered up and gave me his "Whatcha got under your paw?" look. Ivan's "Whatcha got under your paw?" look is very similar to his "What've I got under my paw?" look. The only difference is where it is directed.

I informed Ivan that I had captured an idea thingy. I told him it had been buzzing around in my head all morning and that I had finally decided to let it out. Ivan, having never had an idea thingy of his own, wanted to see it. I told him that if I let it go, and he could catch it, I'd let him have it.

Very carefully, I opened my paws.

The fly thingy seeing its' freedom suddenly restored, shot straight up into the air and flew down the hallway. Ivan gave pursuit. His little legs a blur beneath his pear shaped body. In the heat of the chase, Ivan refused to let small obstacles like furniture, doors and walls impede his progress. This idea thingy would be his!

The commotion flushed out Tiger Lily from her hidey hole and she commenced to letting the entire household know of her displeasure.

The two leggers were not amused.

They emerged from the bedroom, both of them with water squirty thingies in their paws, and proceeded to spray everything in sight.

Meanwhile, Ivan flashed between the male's legs and almost managed to bring down the female when he failed to negotiate a turn. Having impacted with the hallway closet door, Ivan lay in a large smelly pile of orange fur, gasping and trying to figure out what just happened. He checked his paws, but alas discovered that he had once again failed to have an idea.

The fly thingy has now settled on a curtain rod. It seems to be waiting.

I too shall wait.


  1. The two leggers using a flyswatter would absolutely take all the fun out of it! LOL!

  2. This is so evil, it's elegant. Bravo.

  3. OMG this made me laugh. You just re-enacted the flight of the fly for so many of us!

  4. One of the best of your adventures, Cujo! I laughed out loud! Sorry, two leggers. I know you were not amused, but I must say this amused me no end!

  5. Oof. That made for an eventful uneventful morning!

  6. It sounds like a heckuva hooligan adventure!