Home Alone (MWAHAHAHAHA)

My two leggers have returned.

I am unsure if I am annoyed, or amused.

Mostly annoyed I think.

Sure, I am pleased that my feeding routine has returned to normal. And, once again I have full run of my entire household. (stupid two leggers "forgot" to leave the door to my recently renovated bedroom open)

As many of you know, my two leggers traveled to some place called "Indiana" last week. It seems that "Indiana" is the place where the female's parental thingies reside. From what I have gathered, it is place far from here where they excel in growing the world's supply of potholes. According to their state website, the state motto is : "Utique Nos es Non Michigan" which is Latin for: "At Least We Are Not Michigan".

That being said, the two leggers seem to have enjoyed themselves. This annoys me. I am not annoyed by the fact that they enjoyed their trip, I am annoyed that they enjoyed their trip sans me. Alas, I was unable to accompany them. I felt it my duty as "Supreme Ruler of All I Survey" to stay and guard my domicile. Not to mention the fact that a week with little or no two legged supervision did have its appealing aspects.

Anyway, while the wandering minions were in Indiana, they chanced upon one of my long distance minions, Conni. They reportedly had a very enjoyable afternoon with her. This annoyed me until I learned that she had knitted an offering for me. It is a work of art. Imagine a mousie thingy made completely of gray yarn. Then imagine a mousie thingy, made of gray yarn that has been laid upon by Ivan until it is almost two dimensional. Then imagine a mousie thingy, made of gray yarn, laid upon by Ivan and then stuffed with catnip. As I said, a work of art. I send my eternal gratitude to my new "Chief of Knitting Flattened Catnip Mousie Thingies".

While the two leggers were away, us cats, we played.

(insert evil chortle here)

The dust bunnies never knew what hit them. Six, count them, six, knock knacks met their demise. We reduced Tiger Lily to a quivering mass of gray whininess.

However, I have a confession.

After several days and nights of total, unbridled chaos, a thought occurred to me.

If the two leggers never returned, would all this endless depravity grow old and tiresome? Would I become low in spirit and long for the days of the water squirty thingy? Would I lose interest in the unfettered destruction and begin watching soap operas?

Yeah, right.