Thursday, November 13, 2014

Scavenger Hunt

Today I found myself suffering from acute boredom.

The two leggers cleaned my house earlier and left no wine or beer glasses out for me to break. All the knock knacks were placed out of reach. Tiger Lily was hiding somewhere, so even the pleasant diversion of smacking her around was denied me.

I considered pulling a toy from the "Box O' Amusements", but in a fit of friskiness last night, I broke one of my toys and only 372 remain. It would be foolhardy to risk breaking another until the two leggers replace the broken one.

I sat in the bay window, thinking to verbally abuse the squirrel thingy, but alas, the Outer Kingdom was quiet and the squirrel was nowhere to be seen.

Even the male two legger foaming at the mouth and screaming at a football game failed to amuse me.

Suddenly it occurred to me. The two leggers often amuse themselves by searching through the house for lost items. These items are most often things like car keys, screwdrivers, wallets, pens, scraps of paper....etc. In fact, they spend so much time looking for these items, I am forced to assume that they enjoy looking for stuff more than they enjoy having stuff.

There is even a holiday that they devote to training their younglings to search for lost items. Every year, on a Sunday in late Spring, adult two leggers rise while their young still sleep and sneak out into the yard. Quietly and stealthily they proceed  to hide garishly colored egg thingies in bushes, tufts of grass and various other hidey-holes. Like large mutant squirrels hiding nuts for the Winter, they take great care in the placement of each egg thingy. They even intentionally hide a few where they won't be found until late Summer when the stench becomes unbearable. Once all the egg thingies have been hidden, they waken the juveniles, hand them woven baskets and inform them that a mythical bunny has stolen all their eggs and hidden them outside.

Thus a desire to search for lost items is instilled from childhood.

Given my generous nature, I decided that I would assist in their amusement.

Since midnight, I have hidden no fewer than 25 objects throughout my house.

Tomorrow promises to be a most exciting day for the two leggers from the outset. Their alarm clock has been silenced and hidden in the hall closet. The knob to the thermostat has been removed and swatted under the stove. Miscellaneous items of jewelry have been relocated. The male's wallet has found a new home in one of the female's boots and the car keys lie in a shallow grave in the Royal Litter Box.

I eagerly anticipate their excitement tomorrow when they realize that their day shall be spent in a series of amusing and challenging searches.

As another example of my generous nature, when the two leggers come to thank me for their day of entertainment (as they will undoubtedly do), I will not take all the credit.

I'll tell them it was Tiger Lily's idea.


  1. Brilliant! Your 2 leggers are so lucky that you found them when you were a small dictator ComMonster Sir! I do believe they would suffer without such amusement in their lives. ;)

  2. What a BRILLIANT hobby you've devised. WONDERFUL!!! You've come up with amazin' hiding spots, too. The two-leggers will get to play all day long, lookin' for the stuff you've hidden. They're gonna be thrilled. I can just picture their faces, now.

    My peeps lose stuff, too. Last thing Peep #1 lost was her mind, I do believe. Had nothin' to do with me, though. She managed to lose it all on her own. MOUSES!


  3. You are such a creative kitty Cujo! I must say I'm grateful you live with your two-leggers and not with me. I'd lose more than my keys!

  4. You go! What a great idea. I hope you can capture the two leggers expressions when they realize what you done. The fun on their faces will be priceless...