Monday, October 11, 2010

The Name Game

I have had several followers ask me "Why doesn't my cat come to me when I call its name?" There are several possible explanations for this behavior.

First and foremost, unless you have food or a catnip mousie thingy, we see no need to answer your summons. Trotting up to you whenever we hear our name like some, I don't know, umm...DOG! This does not amuse us. We are not dogs, we have too much dignity and self respect. If a cat should happen to come to you after hearing its name being called, trust me, it is nothing but an ugly coincidence. Do not flatter yourself.

Another reason we don't answer when you call, and my personal pet peeve (no pun intended) are the names you call us by. We simply disagree with your choice of moniker. I have yet to meet a cat that considers "Fluffy" to be a good name. It is a description and shows a basic lack of imagination. Have you ever seen a two legger infant named "Short, Stubby and Hairless"? This theory also applies to "Blackie", "Ginger" and "Demon Beast From Hell". Simple descriptions, not names.

On the other hand, some two leggers use entirely too much imagination when naming us. Names like "Harry Squatter" and "Mr. McWhiskers" come to mind. We are not amused.

And of course, there are the names that are so inane that no explanation is needed. Why do you insist on naming us "Kitty" or Kitty Kat" or "Puss"? It baffles me.

If you must give us names and expect us to reply, you need to name us as we see ourselves. "Fang", "Goliath" and "Mouse Munchin Thingy" are all names I'd be proud to wear. Ivan is very pleased with his name. (though he'd actually prefer "Guido") Tiger Lily likes her first name, but whines about her last name. (I'll smack her later)

So, if you really expect us to come when called, call us something that doesn't embarrass us. I doubt we'll answer, but at least your shoes will survive.


  1. After reading your wonderful blog tonight, we have added last names to our two cats. Gabby, the little mom tabby is now "Gabriella the Viking Mother Marauder" She approves.

    Her son, Dollup (who once was very tiny)is now "Dollup the Clawmeister" he also approves, as far as we can tell.

    They only come when we click the sliding door lock. It makes a really neat clicking sound!

    They both send a feline "hello" to you Cujo and thanks for the names lesson! Humans are hard to train.

  2. You have made a wise decision. It may even save you much grief in the future. My regards to both of your feline cohabitators.