Monday, July 26, 2010

Sheet Happens

There are two subjects that i would like to address today. An obvious two legger wrote and asked me: " Why does my cat always have to get involved when I am trying to make my bed?" First of all there are two misconceptions right off the bat. "Your cat?" "Your bed?" Silly two legger.
There is a well known federal law that states: If any bed in any household that is inhabited by a cat is in the process of being re-made, aforementioned cat must be allowed to "supervise" the making of aforementioned bed. This supervision may include, but is not limited to, such activities as:
1) Pouncing upon all sheets in a playful manner.
2) Crawling under the sheets thereby making it impossible for the sheets to lay flat.
3) Hooking a single claw in the sheet causing multiple snags.
4) Rolling on back and looking cute and innocent whilst you scream in joy.
5) Spreading enough cat hair to cover 4 cats on as much clean linen as possible.
The laws of dignity are suspended while acting in this supervisory role.
Do not blame or yell at us, we are simply upholding the law.

Secondly, I have received several e-mails inquiring as to whether the bathroom spider still lives. The answer is yes. During his "chat" with the spider, Ivan broke four of the spiders' eight kneecaps before the spider saw reason. Though the spider lives, he spends his day walking in circles and weaving webs that look like they are inspired by Picasso.
This amuses me.

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