Lucky's dilemma

I'd like to start this post by responding to a query by "Lucky". Lucky posted: dear cujo cat,
my humans are trying to give me medicine from a squirty thingy. how to i avoid this (and possibly inflict as much damage on them in the process)?
The answer is both simple and complex. Do not avoid the medicine, use it. Simply pretend to swallow it. Once you have convinced your two legger that you have consumed the foul stuff, sneak into their closet and deposit it (add a hairball for consistency)into their favorite pair of shoes.
Look for the best shoes for maximum proof of your displeasure. The name on the shoes should be long and preferably italian. (i.e. Ferragamo) Generally, the longer the name, the more precious the shoe. (the exception being Gucci).
Avoid shoes with names like "Crocs" or "Keds" as your contribution may actually increase the value of these shoes. Also look for signs like the shoes being kept in separate boxes or bags.
I hope this answers your question.
Today I spent the majority of my day trying to get my catnip mousy thingy out from under the refrigerator. It escaped in the night and I found it cowering there this morning.It mocks me for it knows just how long my legs are and therefore just how deep to hide. The two leggers have yet to respond to my demands for its retrieval.
Tonight, I plan on waiting until they go to bed, then I will stand at the window and hiss for a while. I am sure their reactions will amuse me.