The two legger belonging to Dandi Butt and Tony T wrote me and asked me to inform them why two leggers insist on smearing icky sticky stinkly stuff beneath their arms. As an avid observer of two legger behavior, I am profoundly capable of answering this.
Two leggers are both ashamed and afraid of their own scent. We four legged types are extremely proud of our individual scents. They serve many purposes. Our scent is our message to other creatures. It says "Here I am, deal with it!". Or "I was here and now that I have touched this, it belongs to me". It can also mean "Dogs not tolerated". Our scent is our personal calling card. We are proud of it and utilize every method at our disposal to spread it as far and wide as possible.
Two leggers on the other hand, seek to hide or disguise their scent at every opportunity. They actually prefer to smell like the people on the talking box thingy. Now I must admit that I have yet to smell a pleasant smelling two legger, (except that tuna fisherman that came over for dinner) however, most of them still smell better than Ivan. So they seek to cover their scent by rubbing stinky gooey sticks on their bodies. The best way to tell that a two legger has been in your stuff is that it smells distinctly unlike a two legger.
I trust that once again my wisdom has enlightened all.