Friday, July 23, 2010

The insubordinate spider

The bathroom spider irritated me today. Perhaps i should provide some background first.
As a rule, spiders residing in my domain live very short, but tasty lives. As with most creatures in my territory, they are considered a meat group. The bathroom spider is the exception to this rule.
I first met the bathroom spider six months ago when i went into the bathroom to glare at my male two legger while he was bathing. I enjoy this activity because it interrupts his reading. To my dismay, i found that my place had been usurped by a very large and hairy eight legger. Though at first i was somewhat miffed, i quickly realized that he was causing my two legger much more discomfort than i generally do. This deserved some respect.
The spider and i reached an agreement. He would confine his activities to the bathroom, and i would not consider him an appetizer. This detente' has worked well until today. Today he felt comfortable enough to venture into the adjoining bedroom. This i cannot abide. If the two leggers feel overly threatened, they may decide to hire one of those masked two leggers that spray foul smelling (even fouler smelling than Ivan) stuff. This stuff usually wipes out my entire snack supplement for a month. Unacceptable.
The uppity arachnid failed to listen to reason and so i sent Ivan to "have a chat". Ivan informed the spider that having eight legs also entails having eight kneecaps. Ivan loves kneecaps. Thus the uprising was put down.
The rest of the day was spent napping in various windows. I did smack Tiger Lily once when she had the audacity to bogart a sunbeam. This amused me.

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