Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Social Diseased

I have never been known to complain about anything.

However, on occasion, I have been known to rant.

This is just such an occasion.

Around the same time that I began writing my blog thingy, I also "drank the social media Kool-Aid" and started using FaceBook. I quickly discovered that through FaceBook I was able to interact with my long-distance minions much more effectively than through basic email. It empowered me to communicate my philosophy and demands directly to all those who yearned to be enlightened. I could learn about my minions and their lives thus subjugating them and enabling me to move forward with my ultimate plan for Universal Domination (all while enjoying games like Words With Friends and Trainstation).

This all came to a screeching halt last Thursday.........

After five enjoyable years of constant communication with two and four leggers all over the world thingy, FaceBook suddenly decided to delete my profile. They gave no warning of the attack (as a cat, I actually respect that) and they refused to allow me to contact the many "friends" that I had made. I was informed that I could retain my "Public Figure" page, but would no longer be allowed a personal profile. This limits my interaction with my followers greatly.

It seems that a computer somewhere in a deep, dark hole, probably located in a skyscraper in Seattle and designed by squirrels had decided that I am not a "real person". The reason they gave was that my profile violated their "Users Agreement" because I am unable to prove that I am a "real person". I sent them an email requesting that they reconsider their decision. Another computer (probably in a different deep, dark hole but still tended by squirrels) replied that it still didn't consider me a "real person".  Apparently, they required that I send them a photo of my ID to prove my identity.

So, I did............

The computer was still not satisfied and once again rejected my appeal.

Suddenly, it occurred to me.........The irony left me dumbstruck! For the last five days, I have been arguing with a computer over whether or not I was a real person! If I wasn't so annoyed, I might be amused and impressed by the chaos they have caused.

Realizing that arguing with FaceBook is about as fruitless as Ivan trying to solve the mystery of where the sunbeam goes at night, I have decided to cease my appeals and try to work within the system.

Towards this end, I have become active on my "Public Figure" page. I shall continue to cause chaos and mayhem through this new medium. Anyone wishing to follow or contact me is welcome to do so via this link thingy: Cujo Cat . Have also set a Twitter thingy and can be found at @Cujo_Cat. Though I have eaten several tweeters, I never imagined that I would become one.

FaceBook seeks to thwart me in my quest for Universal Domination. I scare the Zuckerburger, so he wishes to control my influence over the masses. He controls the FaceBook and so I will re-focus my efforts elsewhere.

At least that's what they'll think.............


  1. That's why I've always had a Page and never a personal profile! The same things has happened to some very popular kitties, and you are just the latest victim.

  2. Send Ivan to Seattle! He's a purrrrson! ;-) Lo

  3. I will continue to follow you, no matter where I have to fly. ;)

  4. We "re-liked" you and hope you will like our page too (if you haven't already) and we are following you on Twitter, pls follow back! @catchatcaren

  5. Sigh! es was deleted by the Facebook minions a few years ago - but I came back. My Mommy did not has a facebook page so WE became Penelope Kowalik!!! Mes has LIKED yous!

  6. Poor Cujo! FaceBook must be run by dogs!