Wednesday, August 4, 2010

UFO (Unidentified Feline Object)

My male two legger spends a lot of time watching science fiction programs on the talking box thingy. Apparently things in the two legger future will be mostly made of cheap plastic and be badly lit, but I digress.
So today I decided to ponder the most important question the two leggers may have to face in the future: Are there cats on other planets?
Duh, of course there are. Do you honestly believe there could possibly be a corner of the universe where there is no feline influence? Unthinkable. In fact, there are probably whole planets inhabited by nothing but cats. Imagine a whole cat based civilization:
No war. If a dispute arises, everyone would arch their backs, hiss a little, poof their tails and then smack each other until the loser runs under the entertainment center.
Catnip would be legalized.
Air conditioned litter boxes.
Rodent races on Friday with the losers being lunch on Saturday.
Squirrels would be beaten into submission and used for menial labor.
Dogs would be banished to a planet that grew fire hydrants.
Three suns so sunbeams would be plentiful.
Spray bottles would be outlawed.
Two words: Yarn tree.
Any felines unable to grow fur would be ostracized and forced to live in the desert regions. (hairless cats truly creep me out)
Two leggers would be welcome, but only as beasts of burden.
What a Utopia.

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