Last night, I was in a generous mood, so I graced my two legger's lap with my presence while he sat watching the talking box thingy. He happened to be watching that show that comes on at the same time every night and features a couple of two leggers talking about what other two leggers around the world did to each other during the previous twenty-four hours.
As a rule, I pay very little attention to this show. It is generally the same stuff over and over again. The only things that change are the names and places.
It's like watching hairballs dry.
However last night, one story in particular caught my attention. One could even say that it amused me.
It seems that a group of two leggers have decided that all other two leggers should stop referring to four leggers as "pets". They say the term "pets" offends and degrades domestic four leggers. They go on to recommend the term "companion".
Ok, where do I start?
First of all, speaking for felines, I have always assumed that when my two legger calls me his "pet", he was being ironic. Kind of a running joke. Like when he tells me to "be good" when he and his mate leave for work every morning. It is laughable to think that they actually believe that I'll "be good" simply because he told me to. Calling me his "pet" is just another expression of his droll humor. My sense of self worth is entirely unaffected I assure you.
Dog thingies are unaffected as well. They do not have the intelligence to be offended. As for self confidence, they fetch sticks, bring their slippers to their two leggers, lick their own butts, clean the royal litter and do tricks for food, how can their pride possibly be wounded?
Now to address the new term "companion".
Two leggers crack me up.
My understanding of the term "companion" is as follows:
A word used to describe one that accompanies you. Sharing both hardships and boons. One that is an equal in all endeavors. Generally there is a mutual respect and admiration between "companions".
Now I ask you, does this sound like ANY feline/two legger relationship in history?
Allow me to put it in two legger terms. Did King Henry VIII consider the peasant who cleaned his chamberpot his "companion"? When Donald Trump dines in a fine eating establishment, does he say to his waiter "Come, sit and dine with me, for you are my companion."?
If two leggers are so concerned about labels, they should just speak truth and call us what we are:
Little Furry God Thingy
Supreme Ruler of The Universe (in my case)
Call dog thingies whatever you want.
They won't understand it anyway.