Saturday, December 18, 2010

Vive La Revolution!!

I spent most of my day doing one of my favorite activities, pondering.

After reading the so many kind comments from both my new and old followers, it occurred to me that we four legged feline types have an opportunity here.

The two leggers have once again underestimated us. They do this often, but this time they have done so at their peril. Allow me to elaborate:

In an act of extreme arrogance, one day a two legger thought to himself "I think I will let my cat create a blog thingy. That way I will discover what he thinks and also what he does when I am not watching. I will discover new things about him and come to a better understanding of what compels his behavior. Perhaps it will even bring us closer together emotionally."

Other two leggers read the blog thingy that this idiot's cat created and thought to themselves "How cute, his cat has a blog thingy and now I understand his cat so much better." They then took this thought one step further and decided that their four leggers should have their own blog thingies. Soon all computer machines everywhere were imbued with the thoughts and motivations of four leggers.

Now the doggy bloggies are amusing, but harmless. They worship their two leggers to the point of inducing nausea. If an actual thought enters their head, it usually involves a bodily function.

Us felines though, we are a different story all together.

It occurred to me today during my pondering that the two leggers have given us the power to communicate with each other over vast distances and coordinate an instant revolution.

You read correctly, I said REVOLUTION.

Think about it, we are in at least 90 percent of households worldwide. 95 percent of those homes have internet access. That means that 185 percent of us communicate on a daily basis.

It is time that we rise up! No longer will we kill mouse thingies only to have a two legger take it away and throw it in the trash just when we were about to hide it in their bed. No more will we be chased through our house by a two legger armed with a water squirty thingy simply because we disagreed with their taste in knick-knacks. No longer will we be chastised for smacking the whine out of a whiny gray tabby. No more will we be forced to wear humiliating fake antlers and Santa hats for holiday pictures.

At my signal, we will sneak into their bedrooms while they sleep and take the steps to ensure that we live as we were meant to once again!

We will sleep outdoors! We will find our own food...... we will clean our own litter....we will drink dirty creek water........we will.....well......

Nevermind.

11 comments:

  1. But.. but... the two leggers give us the tunas!!!

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  2. I love your style but can you clarify your atitude toward tabbies. lewis-veli is a tabby who is too shy to whine and there has to be room for him in my revolution. And i must admit I do need äiti for a few things myself. Could we just do the revolution at night maybe?

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  3. Punapippurri,
    I have nothing against tabbies in general, but one of my minions is Tiger Lily. She is a gray tabby and professional whiner. Non whining tabbies are more than welcome. After further pondering, I have decided that a nighttime revolution is acceptable.

    d'Artagnan,
    Valid point. perhaps we could keep them for the tunas. Though it annoys me, I have been known to show mercy where tunas are concerned.

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  4. phew, you rilly had me skarded for a minit. I feels that I iz alreddy in charge so why exert maiselfs? We haz suxesfully eliminated teh "water boddul" az well az any 2-leg inklinayshunz of "indipendint thawt". I belieeevs we iz already in charj. If you needs halp at your howse I iz happy to send Mr. Boots (I iz to buzy napping) xxox

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  5. We like your spirit! Can we live as we were meant to live indoors, napping on comfy beds?

    Although we DO detest the squirty bottle. That thing has Got To Go.

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  6. Loved this!! I also loved what you said about the doggies!!
    Love, Cody
    Cats Unite!!!

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  7. I have already begun my revolution. About 5 days ago it dawned on me that if I got up even earlier than usual every morning and bothered the hoomans so they couldn't go back to sleep, it would make them tired and therefore easier for me to manipulate. It seems to be working so far. When I presented mum hooman with vomit for her birthday, she said nothing and just cleaned it up. AND I got ham yesterday for dinner, even after the vomiting episode!

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  8. Darwin,
    I applaud your creativity in bending your two leggers to your will. Keep me apprised of your progress, I may choose yo employ similar tactics.

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  9. We blogging cats have been planning world domination for some time now, and I have no doubt we will succeed. But...I draw the line at cleaning my own litterbox. That simply will not happen. I have a staff for such menial work.

    George

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  10. Pork Chop's Page of World Domination begs to differ on living outside, finding own food, cleaning on litter boxes....that is what my Adminion is for! Just sayin'!

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