The Great Moth Massacre (2013)

June is one of my favorite months.

I can't say that it is my most favorite month, but I definitely rank it in the top 12.

Sunbeams sprout in every window sill, no more chilly evenings, and there are outdoor critters aplenty for me to berate from windows left open.

But there is a reason above all these that causes me to look forward to June with gleeful anticipation.

The annual moth thingy harvest.

Every year in mid to late June, for reasons only known to scientific type two leggers, moth thingies suddenly decide that their flittery little lives are no longer worth living and they decide to end it all by entering my kingdom. Like those overgrown hamster thingies in England called "lemmings" or fans of Miley Cyrus, they rush headlong and unthinkingly to their doom.

It is unknown how they enter my house. Even when every door is locked, every window closed with screen intact they get in somehow. At first I thought that they originated somewhere within these walls, but the fact that I often see them circling the porch light in warm Summer evenings proves this theory false. I now suspect that they are brought in by hitching a ride in my male two legger's mustache.

Be that as it may, they enter my abode and carnage ensues.

According to the dictionary wordy thingy, the definition of a moth thingy is as follows:
Moth thingy: [mawth theengy] plural: moth thingies- Any of a sub-genus of winged six leggers known for flittery/fluttery behavior. Also known as  "redneck butterflies", their sole reason for existence is to serve as both amusement and dietary supplement to domestic housecats. See also: Mouse thingy, eight legger, housefly and designer shoe.

The moth harvest generally begins in mid-June and lasts until the last moth is either digested or beaten into submission.

We all have our own individual methods and styles for moth thingy eradication:

Ivan prefers a passive approach. He waits until a potential victim lands within reach of his paw, he stares at it with a confused expression and then softly bats at it. This soon gives the moth thingy a false sense of security, thinking that the large, orange, stinky mass is relatively harmless. It begins to buzz around on the floor in small circles which confuses Ivan further. In keeping with his philosophy of "That which is not understood must be eaten" Ivan promptly munches it.

Jaq uses the "Zen Master Meditation Method". She sits upon the couch next to a lamp, eyes closed, seemingly in a deep trance. The moth thingies flit around the lamp (as part of their suicidal tendencies, they are always trying to "go into the light"). Softly humming "Spirit in The Sky", she sits until just the right moment and suddenly springs with her micro-paws whipping through the air, snagging up to a half dozen in a single swat.

Tiger Lily puts on such a theatrical display of ineffectual waving paws and impotent viciousness that the moth thingies drop to the floor in a fit of laughter and are quickly dispatched.

I employ the "Frightening Lightning" strategy. A flash of black and white streaks across the room and suddenly the moth population is reduced by 30%. Another flash and several more go missing. Just as the moth thingies begin to notice that several members of their excursion are missing and start to suspect that something is amiss, I finish off the survivors in a flurry of teeth and claws.

In the morning, the two leggers walk through a hallway strewn with broken wings and bits of moth-matter. They enter the livingroom to find four cats, sated on the blood of their enemies and languidly licking their dusty paws.

Monday marks the beginning of  July, another of my favorite months.

Bring on the pill bugs.