Leaper Colony

Okay, this is just ridiculous.

My two leggers are out of control.

Those of you familiar with my two leggers are well aware that they are a couple of "nature loving, do no harm, all creatures are sacred, granola munching, tree hugging hippy types".  But things are getting out of hand. (paw)

They are disrupting the natural order of things.

When they first started feeding the bird thingies, I assumed that they were attempting to lure the bird thingies to my yard and lull them into a false sense of security until the day that I would escape my house, wreak sweet carnage and leave the yard covered in a carpet of colored feathers and blood.

Soon, squirrel thingies arrived and my anticipation grew with each passing day. I began having dreams of slaying the nasty little tree rats and often awoke in the act of cleaning imaginary blood from my forepaws.

Then the deer thingies showed up. Though too massive to be brought down easily, Ivan and I working in conjunction should be able to take one of the smaller offspring.

It has been four years now, and I am still kept within the confines of my house.

The veritable smorgasbord just outside my window continues to grow.

I am beginning to believe that the two leggers may no longer be luring these creatures for my sake alone. I am beginning to suspect that they may have ulterior motives. It is entirely possible that they have developed a fondness for wild critters. They seem to consider them a source of entertainment as opposed to a source of nutrition.

To recap: I have watched as beast after beast have discovered that there is free food to be found in my yard. All they have to do is show up, act cute for a minute or two, and the two leggers rush out with a bucket full of seed, grain or fruit to lay upon the stumps in my backyard.

Now to the point of this post.

I awoke this morning to the sound of giggling outside my window. Looking out, I beheld a most disturbing sight.

Bunnies.

Lots and lots of bunnies.

Apparently word has reached the land of the hoppers and now they have all taken up residence in my yard. Bouncing around MY yard. Eating MY dandelions. Laying little bunny-berries in MY grass.

And giggling.

That's the most annoying part. Bunnies giggle.

Cats meow, Ivan grunts, Jaq squeaks, Tiger Lily whines, dog thingies bark, goat thingies baa, bird thingies chirp and eight leggers snicker. These are all natural and fairly tolerable. (Except whining, but I'll smack her later)

But giggling?

I voiced my great displeasure to the two leggers regarding the infestation. They immediately ran outside and laid some carrots on the grass. Soon the word had spread and my yard was filled with happy, hopping, giggling little nose twitchers.

Even the squirrel was annoyed and sat in a tree with a look of great disdain on his mangy little face.

So once again, I find myself trying to be patient.

All it will take is a loose window screen or a door carelessly left ajar and Ivan and I will spend a fun-filled day splitting hares.