One of my favorite activities is theft. I know you may ask, why, when I own everything in my kingdom, should I feel the need to resort to stealing? The answer has nothing to do with need, it is simply the act that amuses me. It has more to do with the "getting" rather than the "having".
My favorite loot: Drinking straws. The female two legger prefers to obtain her hydration from glasses with straws rather than dirty bowls with floaty thingies like us civilized types. This provides many opportunities for theft and havoc.
I have several methods that I employ in the perpetration of my crimes:
1) The Cat Burglar Method- This uses my powers of stealth. I pretend to be asleep in another
room lulling the two legger into a false sense of security. I then silently stalk the victim, moving through the house using chairs and tables to provide concealment. Once I am close enough, I wait until the two legger is not looking and then make my grab using stealth and silence to make good my escape. I then lie back in my original spot and wait for the two legger to notice that they've been victimized once again.
2) The Strong Arm Method- For this I utilize Ivan. While I am curled up on the two legger's lap,
Ivan jumps up as though he is about to release his wrath upon the two legger. As the two legger reaches for the water bottle thingy, I shoot off her lap snagging the straw in the process. By the time the theft is uncovered, I have already stashed the booty in the bathtub to be played with later.
3) The Fur's a Flyin Method- This is the most complex method requiring the coordination of both Ivan and Tiger Lily, (albeit her cooperation is not necessarily voluntary). We wait until Tiger Lily is in another room, then Ivan goes in and begins pounding on her mercilessly. This
causes her to wail like an American Idol contestant. While the two legger is distracted, I de-straw her beverage leaving no witnesses.
Occasionally, the two legger won't notice that she has been had. When this happens, I like to retrieve the straw from its' hidey hole and then drop it on the floor in front of her. This allows her the opportunity to appreciate my prowess and skill.