There was a disturbance in the force. I knew it when I awoke to the sound of the male two legger unzipping the door of the kitty carrier thingy. This could mean a really bad thing was about to happen, or a really good thing.
A really bad thing would be the two leggers taking me to the Vet. A really good thing would be the two leggers taking Ivan or Tiger Lily to the Vet.
The last time the kitty carrier thingy was brought out, it was Tiger Lily who was abducted. This amused me. But what really amused me was what happened when she was returned. The female two legger carried her in and much to my joy, she was wearing one of those plastic cone thingies. O' happy day! Ivan and I could barely contain ourselves. For the next several days, we were truly entertained. We made up a whole new genre of amusing games. Games such as:
Ring The Whiny Bell.
Poof The Conehead.
Hide The Food Behind The Conehead.
And my personal favorite: Hairball Hoops.
Alas, this time it was my turn. I was NOT amused. The male two legger spent the next half hour trying to force me into the carrier. He was quite proud of his accomplishment until he realized that he just spent 30 minutes trying to overpower something 1/16th his body mass. Bravo, well done.
We then spent the next 20 minutes on the road with me voicing my displeasure incessantly. Though I knew it would make no difference, I derived some satisfaction from making him say "shhush" over fifty times.
We arrived at the vet's office. When the vet entered the room and saw me, the look of horror on her face made me suspect that we had met before. Her stammering confirmed my suspicion. She immediately exited only to return moments later wearing heavy gloves and a fencing helmet. She then proceeded to stick something somewhere that I am sure things should not be stuck. She seemed to draw pleasure from my discomfort. After looking in my mouth (where bits of her are soon to be found) She stuck me with a needle while giggling maniacally and pronounced me "healthy".
This time I was only too happy to get in the carrier. I silently plotted my revenge all the way home. I could tell this made the two leggers nervous. As I was carried into my house, I could see both Ivan and Tiger Lily eagerly watching in the bay window for my return. Upon my release, Ivan of course gave me a thorough sniffing while Tiger Lily sulked away, disappointed that I was not wearing the plastic cone thingy.
Tonight, I dine on Italian leather.