Don't Worry, Be Yappy

I am NOT amused.

The two leggers invited a couple of their friends to my house today. As if this wasn't bad enough, the visiting two leggers had the temerity to bring along their sad excuse for a canine. Allow me to elaborate:

This canine is of the "tea cup poodle" variety. Apparently "tea cup" poodles are tiny little versions of a larger form of mutt. It is approximately one tailspan in length and the same in height.
It's eyes are buggy and it's only purpose in life seems to be standing on its' two leggers lap yapping at the top of its' tiny little lungs while shaking like Richard Simmons at a biker rally. Its' name is "Kirby" but I prefer to call it "Smackbait". It is white and according to Ivan, tastes like chicken.

Upon the arrival of this little taste of purgatory, my two leggers informed me that they expected me to be nice. Funny how they can spend so much time with me and yet know so little about my personality. Curious. I assured them that I'd be happy to "play" with the tiny interloper. I have lots of games that I'm sure would be entertaining. For instance:
Hide The Tiny Body
Buggy Eye Smackdown
Tag Team Poodle Stomp
Slap Everything That Shakes.
Name That Blood Stain

Ivan and I finally decided to play a new game. We called it "Name That Sound". Come to find out, a vase dropped on a mini-mutt's head from a height of six tailspans actually makes more of a "tonk" sound. I coulda sworn it'd be more like "thunk". Who knew?

Well, the good news is that the dog is no longer shaking.