Yule Be Sorry

I have written a Christmas carol thingy.

As you all know, my poetic skills have often been labeled as "questionable", "irresponsible" and even "dangerously disturbing".

In fact, my poetry has been banned in all fifty states....and Arkansas.

However, since it is the Christmas season, I have decided the heck with it, I'm gonna do it anyway.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Ivan the Red-Furred Dimwit

Ivan the red-furred dimwit,

Had a very tiny brain.

And if you ever met him,

You would probably go insane.

All of the other felines,

Used to laugh and call him "dork".

They always said that Ivan,

Smelled a little bit like pork.

 

Then one rainy Christmas Day,

Cujo came to say:

"Even though your brain's so small,

I'll give you my Christmas tree to maul"

Then how the felines loved him!

As they saw him take the blame.

Ivan the red-furred dimwit,

The tree will never be the same!

That was so fun, I believe I'll try another:

Oh Whiney Night

Oh whiney night,

The gray one's gonna get it.

I'll smack her down,

And then I will nap.

Oh whiney night,

She never stops her whining.

Sometime she must sleep,

And then I'll make my move.

Pounce on her now!

And greet the new found silence!

Oh paw-aw divine!!

Strike her down and victory is mine!

Okay, if you insist, one more:

O' Little Catnip Mousie Thingy

O' little catnip mousie thingy,

How still I see thee lie.

Beneath the chair,

And covered with hair,

I've decided that you must die.

O' little catnip mousie thingy,

You Know you amuse me so.

I bat, you fly

And then you die.

Until under the fridge, you go.

But in the hallway lurketh,

A most disturbing sight.

The two legger

Without his fur

Is sleepwalking tonight.

  

Jaq has now been singing these carol thingies for the last 17 hours straight. 

The two leggers have since made up their own Christmas carol thingy.

It is called "Shut the Heck Up Cats! We Gotta Work Tomorrow!"

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.

I wish you all a very merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!