Sunday, August 5, 2012

Commercial Success

Jaq, who has appointed herself my publicist, has suggested that I enhance my public image. She recommends that I have a commercial thingy made.

I am unsure whether I agree that my image needs enhancement, but have decided to ponder the idea.

After taking a six hour nap only interrupted by several sessions of snoozing, I have come up with an idea for an ad thingy:

Cue slideshow of pictures of me-

Voice of Antonio Banderas: 
"Some have plastic flamingos in their yard, he has live peacocks"

"His ego is visible from space."

"Dogs refuse to chase him, for fear of catching him."

"He drinks from a bidet."

"He has people to cover his litter so that his paws remain unsullied."
 
"He once neutered a squirrel using only a sharply worded email."                                            

"His smack has been classified as a weapon of mass destruction."

"His purr has inspired symphonies."

"He speaks in calligraphy."

"Mice volunteer to become his toys."

"Sunbeams go in search of HIM."

"He once made a mime scream."

"Elephants try to forget him."

"His litter has been sold on Ebay."

"Fleas refuse to bite him."

"His thoughts are so deep that they occasionally strike oil."

"He once smacked the stripes off a whiny gray tabby."

"There are movie credits at the ends of his daydreams."

"He's been known to abduct aliens."

"HE IS THE MOST INTERESTING CAT IN THE WORLD"

My voice-

"I don't always use catnip, but when I do, it's organic."

"Stay frisky my friends."  

7 comments:

  1. Susan Mayer (lady in waiting to Ruby the A and Mistress Murphy)August 5, 2012 at 12:24 AM

    What can one say, shaking head like bells are ringing in full glory!!

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  2. I agree with Sparkle! I read the whole thing in Antonio's voice and it....was.....EPIC!

    Thanks for the laughs Cujo.

    With malice aforethought
    Evil Elmo

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  3. Sign me up I want some! :) great commercial I can't wait till it gets made!

    Btw, did you know you have word verification on your blog?

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  4. I am partial to "His ego is visible from space." LOL Another Great entry Commonster Cujo!

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  5. Cujo! You are the Man Cat! I love that "There are movie credits at the ends of his daydreams."
    That must truly make you "THE IS THE MOST INTERESTING CAT IN THE WORLD"
    BTW what do you daydream about?
    Kozmo at th3 Cat From Hell

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  6. WAAAAAAAAAAH! CUJO, I couldn't stop laughing! All us guinea pigs think you are so brilliant we are considering using you to produce our next feature film: "SpacePigs...The Final Chapter" even though it would really be our first. TRULY BLEW OUR MINDS (don't even ASK about mom's...you had her at Antonio Banderas!

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