Thursday, July 14, 2016

Poofed About Pokemon

My last post was part one of two of "The Lumber Joke". I had every intention of writing the conclusion today. However, something else has caught my attention and I decided to discuss that instead. Rest assured, I shall conclude "The Lumber Joke" soon.

Being a cat, I am sometimes easily distracted. An errant moth, a wild dust bunny incautiously playing in the breeze or a careless eight legger skittering across the floor can instantly distract me from my current activity and send me into a ferociously frisky feeding frenzy that will captivate my entire attention for seconds at a time.

Two legger behavior can also distract and amuse me, and recently more than ever.............

Two leggers are very susceptible to crazes or fads. Being herd animals, if one two legger engages in an activity, suddenly the entire population must brainlessly engage in the same activity. Never has this been more evident than in the latest mania to sweep two legged society. I speak of course, of  "Pokemon Go".

Where do I start?

First of all, let us examine exactly what "Pokemon Go" consists of. 

Basically, using "cutting-edge" technology, two leggers are rushing around, willy-nilly, chasing things that only they can see.

News Flash: We feline types have been doing that for gazillions of years! But when we run around chasing invisible beings, we are chastised and called names like "Spazz, Goofball, Weirdo" and many other unflattering monikers. The difference between us and the two leggers is that our seemingly insane fits of activity have a real and necessary purpose that benefits both four leggers and two leggers alike......

We are chasing ghost thingies.

All felines are equipped with a small gland inside their brain thingies (in Ivan's case, VERY small) called the Pewtewitary Glandulus. The Pewtewitary Glandulus secretes the furrymone Omigodigottakillit  that triggers a very special self-defense reflex known as the "Poltergeist Early Warning System (PEWS). When our PEWS is triggered, we are compelled to jump up suddenly and eradicate any and all poltergeists that may be lurking, skulking or performing other nefarious poltergeisty activities.

 By eliminating these spooks, we save everyone from their evil doings. 

If we destroy any knock knacks in the process, that is just a bonus.

This Pokemon thing however, is a mouse of a different color.

For years, two leggers have complained that due to the access to technology, they have all become hermits who sit in their houses or offices with their noses buried in their phones or computer typey thingies. They complain that the younger generation is not getting enough exercise and has become anti-social. They have lost their imagination.

So someone said "There's an app for that!" And they invented a new game designed to get two legger younglings out walking around.

It worked...........kinda.

Now every two legger is out, roaming aimlessly around, single-mindedly searching for imaginary critters with cutsie names like "Pikachu, Jiggly-Poof and Pidgie". They predict that soon, everyone will be fit as a fiddle thingy again.

They will still be mindless, non-sociable mush-brains, but at least they will be healthy, mindless non-sociable mush-brains.

At least those who don't wander onto train tracks, into traffic or attempt to drive while looking at their phone thingies.

Meanwhile, me, Pikachew (Ivan), Giggly-Poofed (Jaq) and Pudgie (Tiger Lily) will continue using our PEWS to keep the rest of you safe from ghost thingies.

4 comments:

  1. Precious, Spot On and perfect as a Pikachu

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  2. Precious, Spot On and perfect as a Pikachu

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  3. Well thank cat you are keeping us safe from ghost thingies. The humans are so obsessed with Pokemon Go they would never notice if we were gone. Happy Blogoversary!!!!!!!!

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  4. Happy Blogoversary, Cujo! We hope you don't waste it playing Pokemon Go. Feed Me Treats, It's My Birthday is a much more suitable game for the day.

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